How Women See Sex

How Women See Sex

Although both men and women engage in the same physical act, their perceptions of what is going on when they have sex are completely different. It’s as blaring as the difference between a Harlequin romance novel and hard-core porn. Men and women want different things from sex, and the best lovers know this and take advantage of it.

First of all, I recommend that if you haven’t already been exposed to the world of women’s sexual fantasies, you should pick up a romance novel or check out some women’s pornography (anything by Candida Royalle or Femme Productions). Notice the differences: women are more into the storylines behind the sex. They’re not just focused on the raw act.

Rather, they’re turned on by the emotions, ambience, words, and relationship that give context and meaning to the sex.

The reason may have to do with how men and women’s brains differ.

Dr. Gert Holstege from the University of Groningen discovered that during orgasm, areas in the brain associated with fear and alertness shut down. The male brain is much more active in processing sensory input from the genitals than the female brain. Dr. Holstege concluded that the most important condition for achieving orgasm for women was feeling protected, safe, and deeply relaxed, while men needed physical stimulation.

The implications of the study are astounding. Men’s magazines for decades have focused on developing the perfect sexual technique for reducing any woman to putty. For decades, guys have attempted to give women mind-blowing orgasms by taking moves from their favorite porn flicks. And all for nothing. For men, being touched is all-important, so they assume that women feel the same. But it’s not. Relaxation, mood, and ambience are more important in arousing a woman than expert sexual stimulation.