What a Woman Wants In Sex Relations

What a Woman Wants In Sex Relations

Give her the sex that she wants, not the sex that you want. But what does she want? you might ask. Lucky for you, I have the answers.

• Anticipation.

For women, anticipation is a highly enjoyable sensation.

Many women prefer to hold off on sex and savor the anticipation so that when the time comes it’s perfect. Guys, on the other hand, are up for it any time, no prior warning necessary.

If you’re going to be the kind of lover that women swoon over, take your time. If you jump into bed straight off, you won’t capture her imagination.

Hold off for at least a few days so that you can build up the sexual tension and anticipation. Even if she wants it right now, be the one in control. Tell her that when you have sex the first time, it’s going to be done right. You’re not both going to be drunk or wake up the next morning not remembering what you did. You’re going to make love to her like no one else has ever done it before. Words straight out of a romance novel are guaranteed to make her melt at the knees.

Building anticipation is a fabulous sexual tactic. Before you have sex (days beforehand, even!) tell her how you would like to touch her. Describe the setting. Include those details that women love: how you’re going to light the room with candles and put on soft music, how you’re going to lay her down on the bed. Get creative! By giving her a visual scene in your mind, she’ll play it again and again in her mind and be as horny as everything when the moment comes.

• Romance.

Some of the best foreplay occurs hours or even days before the first article of clothing comes off. Women can get wet just thinking about a guy that they feel attracted to. Romancing a woman actually leads to a better sexual experience for her. Buy her flowers, open doors for her, treat her like a gallant gentleman would treat his lady. It’ll all pay off in the bedroom.

• Ambience.

While men could often care less where they’re having sex as long as the sensations are good, the setting is everything for a woman. She will have a better sexual experience in a four-star hotel room than on the creaky bed of the local motel. That’s why paying attention to the little details is important. The perfect setting, the perfect meal, candlelight, soft and silky sheets….

Give her a story she can tell her friends, especially about the first time you have sex. A woman wants to know that you’ve spent time thinking about how to make your first time together special. Make an event out of it: plan a special day and bring her back home to your bedroom at the end of it. Buy an expensive bottle of wine. Slow dance together. Pick her up and carry her into the bedroom. Silly little acts of romance, but they’ll arouse her more than you’d imagine.

• Trust.

Having sex is a huge act of trust for a woman. She has to make herself vulnerable, show her partner her naked body (which she may feel highly self-conscious about), and trust him not to break her heart. That’s why gaining her confidence and trust beforehand is so important. A woman can totally abandon herself when she’s in the arms of someone she trusts and feels safe with. If she’s even the least bit uncomfortable or timid around you, her sexual experience won’t be as good.

• Compliments.

The best way to make a woman eager and willing to have sex with you is compliment her as each and every article of clothing comes off. Women melt when a man compliments their body. Even if you usually don’t compliment her much or haven’t complimented her at all before, let the compliments flow freely in the bedroom. Tell her in a low murmuring voice, how good she smells, how soft her skin is, how great it feels to be close to her. She’ll get highly aroused by hearing herself described through your eyes.

• Feelings.

Women want to hear three things: “I need you, I want you, I love you.” They need loving talk in the bedroom. While guys just want to focus on enjoying the sex itself, women enjoy sex more when it has emotional context: in other words, when it’s an expression of a man’s feelings towards her. Give her fantastic sex by telling her how much she means to you, how she drives you crazy, how much she turns you on.

By the way, did you know that for women the largest sexual organ is … the brain? That’s right. Women can easily turn themselves on by fantasizing or reading erotic books, whatever feeds their sexual imagination. Their imagination can even be more powerful than direct sexual stimulation.

• Connection.

If you talk to couples in relationships, you’ll find that an amazing percentage of them say that the sex gets better and better the longer they are together. That’s because the more connected you are, the better the sex is. As a result, sex for a woman in the context of a relationship can actually feel better to her than a one-night stand.

• Communication.

Communication in the bedroom is essential. Every woman is different, and some women can only come if you do certain things. The first time you sleep with a woman, don’t assume that you know what she likes. Instead, ask what makes her come, how she feels when you touch her a certain way, where she’d like to be touched. You’ll be amazed at how much easier it is to turn her on when you’ve got the expert guide herself giving you directions all the way.

• Foreplay.

If there’s one thing that every woman out there agrees on, it’s that they need more foreplay. Women aren’t ready for sex at the snap of a finger. Their bodies take time to get aroused. She may be mentally ready for sex long before her body is, and a thoughtful lover is willing to put in as much time as it takes to get her warmed up.

But foreplay isn’t just the means to an end. Learn to enjoy foreplay for the sake of it. Try engaging in foreplay until neither of you can’t stand it any more. Her orgasm will be much more intense than if you’d headed straight into sex, and you may find that your orgasm is earth-shattering, too! That’s because teasing one another and holding off makes the sensation much sharper and more fulfilling when it does come.

• Firmness.

The bedroom is your territory. No matter how much you lack confidence in daily life, here you are the master. No woman wants a guy who lacks confidence in the bedroom. Your actions should be firm and decisive as you play the role of her guide. She needs to feel as if she can let go around you, relax and let the sensations overwhelm her. (Note: this doesn’t mean that you should push her further than she wants to go, though. Be firm only within those boundaries where she feels comfortable.)

• Experience.

There is something to be said for experienced lovers. I’ve heard women say that they can tell how good a lover is going to be from how smoothly he unhooks her bra. Movements should be firm, gentle, in a regular rhythm. Don’t use a rough touch; women’s skin is much more sensitive. Don’t fumble about, grope, or rush in. Use long, sure strokes. Even if you haven’t had much sexual experience, don’t tell her that. As long as you are confident in your movements (and hey, you can always ask her what feels best!) she won’t be able to guess.

• Lingering looks.

Eye contact is crucial to women. Reconnect with her periodically throughout sex by meeting her eyes. Search her eyes for clues to how turned on she is or what she’s feeling. When you meet her eyes, she’ll feel reassured.

• Unpredictability.

Nothing spices up sex more than unpredictability, which is why the first time with someone can be so exciting. However, the more you have sex with someone, the more familiar and habitual the sex becomes. Unpredictability—having sex in different places, at different times, trying new things—can spice up a sex life and increase desire.

• Sufficient rest.

A woman who is well-rested will find it easier to come than when she’s tired. This is why it can be hard to have great sex when both partners are exhausted and just want to sleep. Try having sex earlier in the evening (before you go out, say, instead of after) or going to bed a bit earlier than normal so that you have time for leisurely sex before your body hits its bedtime sleepiness.

• Warm feet.

One of the surprising results of the Dutch study was that men and women alike find it easier to orgasm when their feet are warm. Only half of the volunteers were able to orgasm with bare feet, while 80% of volunteers could come when researchers provided them with socks. So keep that bedroom warm, or let her leave her socks on!